


Everything I Can Remember

by Crowgirl



Series: Consequences That Are Rendered [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Drabble Collection, First Kiss, Flashback, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-07
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-30 19:03:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crowgirl/pseuds/Crowgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The boilermaker recipe I had in mind is <a href="http://cocktails.about.com/od/whiskeyrecipes/r/boilermaker_sht.htm">here</a>. </p><p>As a disturbing sidenote, I learned about them from my mother. </p><p>Title from "It's Been Awhile," Staind, <i>Break the Cycle</i>.</p></blockquote>





	Everything I Can Remember

Dean can remember their first kiss but he doesn’t like to.

He’d like to think of himself as having been confident, self-possessed, possibly even suave.

He doesn’t like admitting, even to himself, that it took him being damned near too shit-ass drunk to know what he was doing.

* * *

_‘Cas...Cas...you’re here!’_

_‘I am here. And, Dean, you are very heavy. Does alcohol make humans weigh more?’_

_‘S’r’y, man...can’t seem...m’knees’re not workin’ right.’_

_‘This is because you were drinking boilermakers.’_

_‘S’right...s’right, I was.’_

_‘I do not under-- Dean, be careful. I cannot keep you on your feet if you -- here.’_

_‘Wha’re you doin’?’_

_‘Keeping you upright. And I do not understand why you would choose -- be careful of the door, Dean -- why you would choose to drink something which tastes so vile.’_

_‘Doesn’t taste “vile” if you drink enough’ve ‘em...’_

_‘Sit down, Dean. Before you fall and injure yourself.’_

_‘Y’ve got pretty eyes, Cas...pretty blue eyes.’_

_‘Dean, you are drunk.’_

_‘Doesn’t mean s’not true!’_

_‘Dean--’_

_‘Pretty mouth, too.’_

_‘I will remember to keep you away from boilermakers in the future.’_

_‘Don’t’cha like compil--compelem-- compliments?’_

_‘I like them when you are sober.’_

* * *

Dean wishes the evening wasn’t quite so fuzzy around the edges. 

He remembers thinking how bright Castiel’s eyes were, the brightest thing in the fuggy bar that had been the only place still open and serving food at midnight. 

He remembers wishing the bar were the kind of place where he could just sit and look at Cas and think about how bright blue his eyes were -- rather than the kind of place where he felt compelled to down five boilermakers in a row and slap Cas on the back a lot.

He remembers leaning forward on the edge of the lumpy motel bed -- well, swaying forward if he’s being honest with himself -- and catching Castiel’s mouth more by luck than plan or aim. 

* * *

_‘Dean, what...what are you doing?’_

_‘Even you gotta know that, Cas...’_

* * *

Castiel’s soundless gasp against his mouth -- he remembers that, too, and the sudden clutch of the angel’s hand around his. 

He remembers Castiel easing him gently back onto the bed, the room spinning around him, and waiting for Castiel to follow him down. 

He remembers not being sure what his body’s up to -- he did get pretty hammered -- but how he was willing to give it a shot at least.

* * *

_‘When you are sober, Dean -- we will talk about this.’_

_‘Oh... fuck, Cas, don’t wanna talk...’_

_‘I do.’_

_‘Y’re gonna leave now, huh?...gonna flap off ‘n leave me t’sober up...’_

_‘No.’_

* * *

And he remembers the gentle press of Castiel’s mouth on his again, then the warm weight of the man beside him, a hand on his chest, the other behind his head, rubbing at the tight muscles in his neck. 

So, okay, the first kiss was...not his brightest moment. The second was all Cas.

But the third and fourth? Now those were winners.

**Author's Note:**

> The boilermaker recipe I had in mind is [here](http://cocktails.about.com/od/whiskeyrecipes/r/boilermaker_sht.htm). 
> 
> As a disturbing sidenote, I learned about them from my mother. 
> 
> Title from "It's Been Awhile," Staind, _Break the Cycle_.


End file.
